| Ever wonder how some people go through life knowing exactly where they are and where they are going? And even how they are going to get there. It’s cause they have an internal GPS. A GPS keeps track of where you are, where you started from and where you’re headed. It helps you get from point A to point B, whether that is driving on the roadways or navigating your way through your life and relationships. Coaches do exactly the same thing in a 4 step process. Step 1) When I work with couples or individuals on improving their relationships the first step is helping them get a clear picture of exactly where they are. That means collecting information and entering the data to tell the GPS our starting location. But remember that is only the first step.Step 2) The biggest key and the one most over looked is deciding exactly where you want to go. What is your goal? If you don’t know where you’re going then the GPS can’t help guide you nor can your coach. If you do know where your going and you get off course the GPS can reconfigure a new path to help you reach your destination. In life and in relationships it’s imperative that you have a clear vision of where you’re going. As a Coach I act very much like a GPS so that when you do get off course we can clarify what got you off course and reconfigure a new path that will quickly get you back on track. Setting the ultimate ideal goal. This part sometimes is called dreaming phase or visioning. You have to have a new address to enter into your GPS so it can help you navigate your way through strange surroundings. So this is the point where we take a look at what it is the couple really wants to build together. The majority of individuals can agree they want to improve their relationship, but few can clearly define and visualize what the ideal relationship looks and feels like. So we have to take some time to explore and to dream about what it would be like to have a relationship where each partner supports and nourishes the other so that the relationship is a safe and stable place to be committed too. Another aspect that we cover during this phase of the process is clarifying that one person’s ideal vision is not always exactly the same as their partners. So we have to negotiate a compromise and help each party see what the other person needs to flourish, grow and feel safe in the relationship.Step 3) Now is when we take some time to identify obstacles that could possibly get in the way of the couple reaching their destination. If you identify possible obstacles you can proactively be prepared and not get caught off guard by them when they come up. The GPS takes a look and asks if you want to avoid toll roads, or take the shortest distance. You always have choices as to how to overcome whatever obstacles are in your way. Some you can just go around they might just be a temporary block like a closed road, some you might have to deal with head on and tackle and solve together so that you compromise on how to handle the situation. Whatever the decision is you always have the GPS and Coach holding your final destination in mind, continually telling you when your off course and redirecting you back to a path that will end in a loving mutually satisfying relationship.Step 4) Finally we have to take a look at sustainability. How can you maintain what you’ve worked so hard to achieve once you reach it? This is where we talk about keeping an eye on our original goal. And listening to our partners when one says I think we are getting off course. If we go back to the GPS and look at our final destination (our goal), which was a loving supportive nurturing relationship we can clearly decide if we are on track or if we need to refocus our energy. Communication is an on-going component of healthy relationships. It is integrated throughout this 4 step process.Steven Covey chose to make “Being Proactive” as the first habit in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I believe the reason is because you have to be willing to take not only the first step but also each step along the way. You have to take action if you want to reach your goals and improve your relationships. These steps work in any relationship whether it’s parent/child, employee/boss or spouses. We are all in relationships with one another. What types of relationships do you want to have and create? If your interested in being proactive and taking the steps needed to create the life you truly want to be living through loving relationships please feel free to contact me. Chuck@InnerStrenghtQuest.comChuck Franks is a Certified Professional Coach with a Masters in Counseling Psychology and a LCSW. He not only a member of International Coach Federation he is also President of the local chapter. He specializes in helping couples, business owners, and individuals improve their lives by improving their relationships. Couples report increased intimacy and security and business owners report better customer relations and increased productivity from their employees. You can find out more about Chuck by visiting his website at Inner Strength Quest Coaching website.Written by Chuck Franks, PCCProfessional Certified Coach2008 |