Sexuality for Men
The nature of work with men in sexual health area varies based on the root condition. Desire disorders, as well as arousal and orgasm disorders, may have physical causes. It is recommended that you meet with a qualified physician or urologist to rule out any medical conditions.
Areas men commonly seek therapy for are:
- Erectile dysfunction
- Premature ejaculation
- Sexual desire disorders
- Sexual Identity, orientation and fetishes
- Sexual abuse or trauma
Erectile Dysfunction (ED):
Erectile dysfunction, erection problems, and male impotence are all issues of male sexual arousal. Erectile dysfunction can happen for a variety of reasons; both physical and mental. It is important to first see a doctor. A urologist can rule out any medical issues which might be causing erectile dysfunction. A key sign that the problem is mental and not physical is when a man is able to remain hard during masturbation but not during sex with a partner. Anxiety is often the root cause of ED. Working with a qualified sex therapist helps to decrease performance anxiety. With less pressure around maintaining an erection, you are free to connect with your body and enjoy sexual pleasure.
Premature ejaculation, also known as “rapid ejaculation,” is often related to anxiety. For premature ejaculation an expert sex therapist will teach you to learn how to relax, accept yourself and accept your body. The sex therapist will teach you how to reduce insecurities regarding your partner’s pleasure. Your therapist will also help you have fewer concerns about “doing it right” and learn to enjoy the present moment. A qualified sex therapist can provide mental and physical relaxation techniques. Relaxation methods will help you have greater pleasure and increased control over your ejaculation.
Sexual Desire Disorders:
- Low sexual desire
- Lack of interest in sex
- Reduced sex drive
- Decreased libido
- Different sex drives between partners
Some physical causes of desire issues may include low testosterone, hormonal imbalances, aging or medication side-effects. Mental factors, which can contribute to a low sex drive, can include depression, anxiety, stress, and feeling overwhelmed. If your sex drive is low your therapist will work with you to discover what creates arousal. Learning to become aroused will help you overcome a low sex drive. Sometimes two partners have very different levels of libido. Your sex therapist will help you communicate about sexual needs to be in sync with each other. Many times, a relationship starts with great sex. Over time, two people have to work together on communication skills to keep it great.
Sexual Identity, Orientation and Fetishes
Sexual identity, gender, and sexual orientation can be very complicated. If your sexuality includes LGBTQ, Kink, Poly, BDSM or anything considered “non-vanilla sex,” it is important to work with a therapist who is understanding and knowledgeable about issues within these communities. A skilled sex therapist will be able to assist clients in navigating their sexual identity in a supportive, non-judgmental setting. A key element in treatment is to reduce the shame surrounding your sexual preferences. This helps you to practice your sexuality freely, as long as it is in a safe manner between consenting adults.
Sexual Abuse or Trauma
While sexual assault is less common in men than in women, the effects are no less damaging or devastating. According to the National Institute of Justice, approximately one in 33 men will be the victim of a sexual assault. Any sexual act that happens without your consent can have negative effects on your sexuality. Unwanted sexual experiences may result in a decreased interest in sex. Another problem from sexual trauma is difficulty trusting and being intimate with a partner. The negative effects of sexual trauma require professional help, whether it happened at a very early age or as an adult. Working with a sex therapist provides an opportunity for support, healing and open discussions about your sexual history. This work is necessary to realize a fulfilling sexual future.
Sexuality incorporates family, social and religious beliefs. Your sexuality changes with aging, health status and personal experience. Sex affects relationships and each partner may have unique attitudes, needs and responses. A breakdown in any area may lead to sexual dysfunction. According to a 1999 study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, sexual dysfunction occurs in 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men, yet it is a topic that many people have a hard time talking about. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable.
If you struggle with any of the above issues or otherwise are seeking therapy or coaching in the Kansas City area, Chuck Franks, LCSW, PCC can help you reconnect with your body, regain your self-confidence, and reignite your sexuality.