Why I won’t throw my Teddy Bear away

Why I won’t throw my Teddy Bear away

Because it represents LOVE. It represents everything that I used to think LOVE was. I’ve had this Teddy Bear since 1982. It actually was a gift to my first love. But when the relationship ended it was sent back to me. That person is still in my life, even it if they are a far distance. They will always hold a special place in my heart. Back to the Teddy Bear.


The other night we were having dinner with friends. And the 4 of us came up with three phases of a relationship. Mind you it’s not pretty but it’s also beautiful at the same time. Not unlike a relationship.

There are no sientific statistics to back this up, however I’d love to hear what you think.

Phase One: Dealing with their Shit.

At first you look at your partner and think can I deal with your shit. All the idiocecratics things they do. Their pet peeves. Does the toilet paper really have to always be over rather than under.? Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or the end? It’s the little things that you focus on. Can I deal with the hair on his back?  Can I take that he chews really loud? Can I deal with the fact that he votes opposite me in elections? These are things that occupy your mind during the first 5 to 10 years of a relationship.  Once you decide, if you decide, that yes I can deal with this shit.

Phase Two: Can I take this Shit.

Then you move on to can I take this shit. Can I continue to put up with all this stuff that they are bringing to the relationship. (Mind you none of us are at the 30 year phase yet but you have to consider it. Phase 3 is can I clean up their shit?  Yes this is probably the least favorite of the phases. But this is also where true love rears it’s head. People of my age lets just say mid 40’s and leave it at that. The majority have had kids so you’ve already had to do your fair share of cleaning up poop. Do you like that word better? I do too and it fit better when you talking about a baby all cute and cuddly. But when your talking about your partner, your mate, the love of your life who you have spent the last 30 to 50 years with… I’m pretty sure it’s SHIT.

I say all this with humor but believe me there is a special moment when you help someone who is unable to help themselves. My parents haven’t gotten there yet but we are definately looking at this path. My partner’s father has had many health problems and about 6 years ago almost died. He was at home on hospice care. The family gathered together for a family meeting and I was left to sit with him. No problem I was glad to sit and watch TV and talk with him it would be my pleasure. That is untill he needed to go pee. Yep here it comes. I get to help him and I get the unexpected experience of holding his penis and the urinal all while we are bracing ourselves against the bed. No it wasn’t a job I signed up for but it was a moment of humanity that I am honored to have been able to be there for and participate in. I helped a human being have some dignity as he was dying. Thankfully he suprised us all and is still living. He is now living with one of the son’s and they are dealing with cathater issues. Hey where was the cathater last time is what I’m saying.

The reality is that there are times when we have to do things that aren’t in marriage vows. They arent’ talked about usually. But they are part of a relationship. So as your dating ask yourself is this person someone who I wouldn’t mind cleaning up their shit. Cause you might have too someday. And if you do, you don’t have to like it at that very moment, but don’t miss the fact that you got to do it. That you helped someone when they needed it.