Black, White, Grey or Gay… When does your prejudice play a part in your decision making.

Black, White, Grey or Gay… When does your prejudice play a part in your decision making.

I’m really hurt by some of the responses to what happened in St. Louis Missouri ‘Highway Patrol trooper Cpl. Dennis Engelhard was killed on Christmas day in the line of duty.’ Serving and protecting all of us. When your house is on fire do you stop all the firemen and ask if they are gay before you allow them to help put out the fire. No. Because you want your house saved. Do you care if the ER doctor is gay when you go in for chest pains having a heart attack. No. Maybe we should start a registry. Anyone wanting to deny and discriminate can freely do so by opting-out of of recieving services from gay people. Like a DNR at the hospital. Bigots can proudly wear NGH (no gay here) wristbands, very much like the Lance Armstrong wristbands, signifying that they don’t need or want gay people helping them in anyway, when their husband goes into cardiac arrest and the ambulance driver sees the wrist band they can say I’m sorry I’m gay but you’ll need to call 911 again and ask for the striaght ambulance driver. Or the ER doctor when their child breaks an arm climbing a tree, can say I’m sorry you can go back to the waiting room cause I’m gay and you’ve opted not to recieve assistance from my kind. And we can start a pitition where everyone who wants to vote NO on gay marraiage can sign it and get their wristbands. I know your saying but wait that isn’t fair it’s not that I want to deny you all your rights and human dignity just the ones I don’t agree with. Just this one man and one woman thing. I still want you to move in and fix up your home so the property values go up. I still want you to pay taxes into systems that you don’t use.

The State Trooper had a partner of 15 years who isn’t recognized by my state of Missouri or my Federal Government as the special person who he was. Frank my partner of 14 years now, isn’t recognized either. I’m not worried about myself. We have as many leagal things in place as we can to protect each other. However, I just went through with my parents helping them draw up their will and discuss thier estate.It can be a very challenging ordeal.

They have my oldest brother who is married. They have my younger sister who is not married but has lived with a young man for like 8 years. And then they have me a gay son who has a partner. The laws are not equal and we had to have some very strange discusssions.  I’m the executor of their estate and it will be my job to try and fulfill their wishes when something happens to them.

I’m not a big lets all get on the bandwagon pro gay marriage person. Honestly before this relatinship (and long into it even) I never have been that big of a fan of the concept of marriage. I am however an anti-discrimination person. So it hurts when I think about how I’m treated as a second class citizen in my own state and country. Ok honestly I’m not so suprised about Missouri, but I had bigger hopes for the country. A country that I was raised to believe was the best country in the world.  The place everyone in the world wants to live because America is more than just a place. It’s more than just a country. It is an idea. Seldom do I talk about being Gay in business. But honestly I don’t want clients who are prejudice or homophobic. Does anyone? Maybe greed pulls on us all the time. Nessecity also plays a role. I personally don’t want that negative energy in my life, personal or professional.

I remember my Mom being worried that someone would hurt me in some way. She would always send me the message sometimes subtle sometimes not. Shhhhhh, there is no need to tell anyone. It was her motherly instinct trying to protect me. I know that. She still does it to this day, because to hear her put it she will always be my mother and that job never ends. It’s from my Mom that I draw most of my strength. She always taught me right and wrong by her example. She was very clear her children would not be raised with prejudice. And yet I have them. We all do. Some learned and come from experience and some from propoganda that seeps in without us even knowing it. Fair or not, I am not keen on dentists, hipocrits, liers, rapists and murderers. But even though I’m prejudice against them I respect that they are each a human being who has rights in this country. I don’t want their rights taken away.


I’ve never asked my parents to get involved with PFLAG. Although I wished they would have.

I did fairly loudly tell them not to vote for Matt Blunt. Which they didn’t listen too but wish they had listened now.


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